When I first entered the world of the internet in the 1990's, my chosen name was "Lady Wiccan Wolf", as I was studying the Wiccan path, and thought, perhaps, that this was my true path. But that quickly changed, and I changed my name to "Lady Winter Wolf"; one that I was completely comfortable with, as it described who I really was. "Lady" as I am one, but make no mistake that I can be intimidated or pushed over. "Winter", my favorite season. "Wolf", my life totem, my Therian nature.
As of September 2006, I found two women also using the name "Lady Winter Wolf", one in Texas, another in Canada (a high priestess of a coven). Then, in February 2007, two more women, both in Canada, were using that screen name as their own. So that is four other women calling themselves "Lady Winter Wolf". They are probably very nice women, however, so there is no mixup between us and this site; "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", but here comes the disclaimer: I do not know these women in any way, shape or form. I cannot be held responsible for their writings, and/or actions. They do not have anything to do with the creation and/or maintenance of this website.
So now we come to "who and what the heck am I?" People love labels, it helps them know what box you fit in, and how to deal with you, and so, I give you my labels. First and foremost, I am a witch......a traditional witch, which means I've learned from family things passed down through generations. I've researched and dug up information on practices prior to Christian influence. I don't cater much to more modern practices, as they have too many rules and regulations, so that the inner spirit is bound and not let free 100%. In other words, I practice the Olde Ways.
I was able to trace the "witch bloodline" back to the late 1600's, and my maternal grandmother began training me when I was the age of five. Unfortunately, she passed away when I was ten, and, henceforth, was forced to learn things on my own. Now we are talking the 1970's, and there was not much information forthcoming. The 1980's and 1990's saw a strong influence from Wicca; therefore my interest in it. But finding more information on my grandmother's teaching brought me back to the true me.
Now the interesting part is that grandma's teachings have now been labeled as Slavic Paganism (family line is from Croatia), and it's in the realm of Reconstructionism. But nanny (that's what I called her) taught me about nature, the elements, herbalism, animal lore, etc, but she did not go into deities. Why? She wanted me to find my own. Sound strange? Well, her own daughter had rejected the "witch bloodline" to become a Roman Catholic, and now believed in their one, true God, so there was a battle going on there about what to teach me regarding God vs. the Old Deities.
Nanny felt that I would find my own way, what was true to me. Well I did. While I embraced her teachings, and developed my knowledge and powers, I also made sure to study as much as I could about other religions, be they mainstream or off the beaten path, Pagan or Christian. The deities that kept effecting me the most were of the Greek Pantheon, and they are who I choose to follow.
All in all, I'm a witch who follows the Olde Ways, and I also follow the Greek deities.....there I am in a nutshell. Now many will respect me for that, and many will ridicule me for not being "mainstream".
Now, as to being a Nocturnal Witch, it's due to my being drawn to the powers of the darkness surrounding me in the night. No, I don't mean darkness as in "evil", "demonic", yada, yada, yada......I mean the actual absence of day/sunlight. I feel better at night, my employment is 3rd shift, I have very good night vision.....well except from driving cause those blasted headlights are too flippin' bright!! Oh, I'm not a day person at all....sunlight does a number on my skin.....I burn, never tan. It hurts my eyes to the max. An eye doctor did a light sensitivity test on my eyes, and he found I had a very low level tolerance for medium-high light levels. But nevermind all that...fact remains that the night is when I feel more alive, more awake. I focus upon the night's energy for my spellcrafting and rituals, and the moon, no matter what phase she is in, does not necessarily play a part in my dealings.
Now comes Dark Pagan......oh, there are so many definitions for that one. Well, first off, I'm no "fluffy bunny"....happy, happy, joy, joy...goodness and light in every aspect of my life is NOT going to cut it. There has to be a balance of light with dark or, eventually, you'll just mentally explode. No, I do not follow the Wiccan Rede.....my deities allow me the rite of vengence. If I'm harmed, a loved one harmed or killed, and no justice is forthcoming.......my deities will allow me to do whatever I need to do to exact vengence (I am talking spellworking and rituals, not physical acts of violence). However, I can't just go around casting spells at people on a whim....no justification for my actions, penalties exacted by the deities. Again, balance.
What I am not is a Satanist, nor do I practice the Black Arts, which are entirely different realms from the Dark Pagan and Nocturnal Witch. I like to make sure that people understand that there are differences.
There I am, basically, and I will add to this page as time permits.
May 2009, I have moved to Utah.
The main religion here is Mormon, and they are not proactive in the development of this community, especially in the business sense. Therefore, a wise decision I made was to go back into the broom closet, and not reveal to anyone that I am Pagan. Seems that saying one is "nondenominational" is more acceptable, but I have been in contact, through Yahoo groups, with fellow Pagans in Salt Lake City, Utah, so I do not feel too alone.
November 4, 2009...I have come to the conclusion that I have finally discovered where I belong. For the past 50 years I have lived on the East coast of these United States; my time split between New York and Pennsylvania. I can honestly say that in those 50 years, very little of that time was spent in happiness. I could never find my place out there; never really fit in with the lifestyles, people, or environments.
But this year, I moved out to Utah, and I have achieved a happiness that I felt has always been denied to me. The landscape has called to me, since the first time I came out here on vacation in 2006. Walking through the desert, or climbing the red rock formations, seemed to come naturally; almost as if it was in my blood. Also, I remember, as a teenager, and young adult, always dressing in boots, jeans and denim or flannel shirts; typical “cowboy” garb, no matter what the fashion trend was at that time.
I have a further reasoning for feeling that I have finally found the place where I belong. In three past life regression sessions, I saw my life as an Aztec high priestess; detailed images which I could see and describe. The Aztecs were predominant in Mexico, not very far away from where I reside now, but certainly too, too far from the East coast. So I have to ask myself, did my lives always have an existence out here in the Southwest? Did something happen, some trauma that forced me to be sent to the East Coast? Or did fate need me to live out East to learn something important, and than allow me back to the Southwest?
Time may give me the answers to these questions, but, for now, I intend to just live “happily ever after”.
January 8, 2010 - Revelation Dream: A Past Life Offers Guidance
In my dream, I was driving down one of the main roads on one of my adventures. I often like to stop at interesting rock formations, climb and just explore. A slickrock formation caught my eye; I pulled over onto the shoulder, got out and went to look at the small indentations that form from water and wind wear. Another car pulled over and two Mexican men got out, came over and starting to look down at the same area I was examining.
One area of slickrock had two pockmarks; each one contained a grey colored, triangular stone, the edges and top worn smooth, encircled by clear quartz. One of the men told me he could remove the little formations for me, but it would cost me money. Suddenly a young, about 10 years old, Native American/Mexican boy stood next to me; I have no idea where he came from. He said, “Don’t listen to them. These stones belong to you.” He pulled out a knife, deftly removed the formations and handed them to me saying, “These are for you, princess.” Looking at the grey stones, writing started to appear which I recognized from Aztec temple drawings; one of the symbols meant “princess”, but I did not understand how I knew this. The boy then leaned down and removed an oval, green crystal from another area of slickrock, and handed it to me. The boy then told me to leave the area, and he kept the two men from following me.
I got into my car, pulled out and made a u-turn, intending to return the way I had come. I stopped suddenly as there was the body of a coyote stretched, edge to edge, across this lane that I wanted to travel on. I could not go around the body; I just knew it could not be done, so I did another u-turn and continued going down the lane I had originally been on.
Upon waking, I could not help but keep thinking about this dream, and how vivid the details were. I thought about my past life episodes where I was an Aztec, in sacred garb; and while they did not have high priestesses, now I wondered if I was not some princess who held a high religious position. I also thought about how I was prevented from going back the way I had come. Was it to mean that the life I’d had living on the East coast was definitely over with, and my life could only continue living in the Southwest? Did this dream solidify my feeling that I had always belonged out here in the Southwest, and was finally back to where I belonged?
My goal is to find a medicine person on one of the reservations, and hope that he/she can help me understand this dream, and my feelings. That he/she can see inside me, and tell me about me.